You Can't Always Get What You Want

My mom has always told me that when my sister and I were younger and we would be out in public, all we did was stare at other people's kids who were throwing temper tantrums. No matter what the issue was between mom and child we just stood there, staring at them, wondering what the heck was their problem. As I go through life, I find I am making up for all those times I missed out on temper tantrums in the grocery store:

"But whyyyyyy????!!!!" (This occurs fairly often) 

"But daddy pleeeeeease????!!!" (This one is most common :) )

Then I huff and puff and rage about not getting my way, but as I do, so the famous words sung by Mick Jagger replay over and over again in my head: "You can't always get what you want." It seems that I find this philosophy occurs continuously in my spiritual life: I ask for something, God doesn't answer right away, I whine and complain, I realize I'm not going to get my way (or I don't see evidence of getting my way in the immediate present), I let it go because I realize I can't always get what I want, and I repeat.

There is one particular area in my life right now where I'm seeing this cycle the clearest. I have wanted something for over a year now and have continuously been praying the, "But only if it's Your will God!" prayer and all I've seen myself do is run in a continuous circle and even feel as though I'm riding ride an emotional roller coaster with the ups, downs, and everything in between. I have held on to this for so long mainly because of that darn pride and tenacious attitude that got a hold of me by being determined that I was going to prove everyone wrong who stood in the way of my getting what I wanted to attain.

I was on my knees in prayer, I was seeking godly counsel from those around me, I was surrendering it to God over and over again because I was sick of feeling like crap, but I still felt like I couldn't shake it. It has taken some time (a lot of time), but I have finally put the brakes on the situation and I have approached the flashing neon sign that reminds me, "You can't always get what you want."

I am thankful that God is using this as a reminder in my life. It is causing me to become more humble and dependent on Him when I feel stuck in this "zone" where I have not a clue what's going on. It is causing me to be patient (a foreign word in my dictionary sometimes), and to trust in God's bigger and better plan than I could have ever mapped out for myself because in the end I'll find I'll get what I need.